Mum of children 9, 4 and 1 – My children and I Deserve Better

Before I started the Par­ent Cham­pion course I was at my wits end with my life and my chil­dren. I had no rela­tion­ship with my eldest daugh­ter except shout­ing at one another. I felt a fail­ure as a mother and the life and rela­tion­ships I wanted was far away and I could not reach them. I had no idea how I could change things to get that life and those rela­tion­ships I wanted desperately.

I always saw the worst in every­thing I did or was going to do. I dreaded every day whether or not to argue with my eldest or some­one was going to tell me I was doing it all wrong. I was on a roller coaster that wouldn’t stop! I needed help but didn’t know where to go.

At her school I was intro­duced to the home school sup­port worker who helped me tremen­dously. She asked me if I’d heard of Par­ent Cham­pion (which I hadn’t) and explained a bit about the course and asked if I’d like to go on it. I agreed to go because it sounded like it could really help. I was so scared of what might hap­pen and how peo­ple would look at me but I knew I needed to do it.

My first ses­sion at Par­ent Cham­pion was scary, I didn’t know how to process what was going on. I was scared to go as I thought I was admit­ting that I had failed. But when I was there I realised there were other par­ents feel­ing the same as me and that I was a good per­son. I just needed a dif­fer­ent approach to things.

I was scep­ti­cal on how the course would help me and my chil­dren but I kept an open mind. Each week put a bit in place that the trainer spoke to us about and started see­ing changes in myself. I was calmer and more patient with my chil­dren and oth­ers. My mum started to see how I han­dled sit­u­a­tions calmly and deal­ing with the children’s prob­lems in an effi­cient man­ner with­out stress­ing and shouting.

I now realised I was a very stressed per­son and my ener­getic core was very fuzzy to myself and when I con­nect more ener­get­i­cally I found things very dif­fi­cult to cope with, but I now enjoy spend­ing time with myself and my chil­dren. I share more prob­lems with the peo­ple clos­est to me to find bet­ter solu­tions to my prob­lem if I can­not find one. I know now that suc­cess in life can be big or small and mean more to me than any­one else. I praise my chil­dren more for their suc­cesses and have a bet­ter rela­tion­ship with my eldest.

I also think about the con­se­quences more and choose not to do things that have bad con­se­quences. I allow my chil­dren to solve their own prob­lems and find their own answers with a lit­tle guid­ance to help them grow into even bet­ter adults and parents.

Other peo­ple have noticed changes in me and asked how. I have told them about Par­ent Cham­pi­ons and how it’s helped me and how grate­ful I am for every­thing it has shown me. I rec­om­mend Alan Wilson’s book.

I got with my part­ner in Octo­ber ‘09 when I was low and relied on him a lot. Whilst doing this course he could see a change in me and the chil­dren. He did not like this and put me down a lot. I did not argue with him instead I sat and thought about things and then spoke to him in a rea­son­able man­ner but he always made it about him. I think he didn’t like me being stronger than him.

I am going to keep prac­tic­ing every­thing I have been shown as I know I have still got a long way to go before my life and rela­tion­ships are the way I want them to be. The rela­tion­ship with my chil­dren will keep grow­ing and they are a lot hap­pier and relaxed.

I know now good things hap­pen if you believe they will. Pos­i­tive energy not neg­a­tive!!!! I will let my chil­dren make their own choices as I do not own them. They are our FUTURE!!

I would like to see myself go back to col­lege to get qual­i­fi­ca­tions I need to become an accoun­tant, then get a job and see my chil­dren grow into lov­ing and beau­ti­ful adults.

Thanks to the Par­ent Cham­pion course for show­ing me a new and bet­ter way to look at life that works for me.

Since com­plet­ing the course I have started psy­chother­apy which has been really help­ing me get stronger in myself and have split up with my part­ner due to the lack of sup­port he was giv­ing me. We also split as I could not deal with the con­stant put downs. I am a good per­son and deserve more and so do my children.

PS also dur­ing the course I moved house!!!”

Mrs Z. Parent