Mum of 5 and 2 year old – I am proud of who I am

Before I started the Par­ent Cham­pion course, my life was stress­ful, repet­i­tive and felt like it was going nowhere fast. I did not value myself at all and upon reflec­tion this affected my fam­ily directly, par­tic­u­larly my chil­dren. I had no con­fi­dence and would never stand up for myself or say that dreaded ‘no’ word to peo­ple, for fear of them dis­lik­ing me for it. Gen­eral con­cern of what peo­ple thought of me was also an issue. I never gave time to myself and would always put my part­ner and chil­dren first, from what they wanted for din­ner, where they wanted to go on a day out, to shop­ping trips, even when spend­ing my own birth­day money. I always saw the neg­a­tive in every­thing and believed all I did was never good enough.

I strug­gled at a time in my life where I had a mis­car­riage shortly before the course started and I became stuck in a rut where I blamed myself for every­thing. My low self-esteem made me feel unwor­thy of the small­est of things and I felt unsup­ported but this was partly due to not ask­ing for any sup­port and assum­ing it would be given to me spon­ta­neously. I always took on everybody’s prob­lems, believ­ing it was my duty to help them.

From doing the course, I have learned that I can believe in myself and I have to be happy and com­fort­able with myself for my chil­dren to do so them­selves. I have also learnt how to deal with things that don’t always go right or how they were meant to…after all, I am allowed to make mis­takes!! I have also learnt to appre­ci­ate and reward myself for the achieve­ments and suc­cesses I make, no mat­ter how big or small. I have learnt to under­stand my chil­dren bet­ter, some­times with­out even speak­ing to them, just listening.

I have also learnt that lis­ten­ing is such a pow­er­ful tool when done to its full poten­tial. I realised my chil­dren have voices and opin­ions too, and they should be able to show these with­out being pushed to the side as they are ‘just chil­dren’. I can guide them if their deci­sions are, in my opin­ion, wrong. How­ever, they will not learn unless they realise that their deci­sions have con­se­quences. I have learnt to give time to myself and allow myself to have goals in order to progress in my life, ensur­ing I can reach my dreams. I now know that com­mu­ni­ca­tion is very impor­tant in my rela­tion­ships with my loved ones

Now I have com­pleted the course, I know I can do any­thing I truly want. I am much calmer and deal with sit­u­a­tions so much bet­ter than what I used to. I have more con­fi­dence and I actu­ally like who I am…if any­one else doesn’t then that’s not my fault! I am proud of who I am, what I have and what I achieved and I am truly wor­thy of the time I give myself. I talk to my part­ner and chil­dren more and also allow my kids to make choices, mak­ing them hap­pier and prouder of their deci­sions. Since the course I sleep so much bet­ter, and I believe this is due to being able to empty my mind each time I go to bed, instead of let­ting things go round in my head. I also realise that other people’s prob­lems are not my prob­lems, and I will not be any less of a human being for con­cen­trat­ing on my well-being more than that of other peo­ple around me. Doing the Par­ent Cham­pion course has enabled me (indi­rectly) to deal with cer­tain strug­gles in my life such as the mis­car­riage and be more pos­i­tive in every­thing that I do.

I used to ‘try’ and do things, set­ting myself up for feel­ing like a fail­ure. Now I choose to do things which I know I can achieve, mak­ing myself a hap­pier and more con­tent, which has a pos­i­tive affect on my fam­ily. Nobody else has done this for me, I have achieved it myself, with peo­ple like my Par­ent Cham­pion col­leagues help­ing me to see my poten­tial. For this I am truly grate­ful

Ms L.H.