To explain how this model works we use an example for a child. We can begin with something like ‘What Are You Going to Wear Today’?
This might seem a simple question to answer for an adult, but how many things are there involved in making this choice? We make the choice easily as adults because we have had a lot of practice, we watch the weather forecast, we know which patterns and colours go together, we can tell by looking at a fabric how it is likely to feel on our skin. All of this runs through our minds without us even really thinking about it. For our child, do they think about it? Is it an instant response, for example he wants to look like his hero of the day or a girl may do the same or her favourite colour? We want to engage the child in the decision process, so that they can understand how to make decisions for themselves.
The GROW Model for children and teens talks us through the process step by step.
The GROW Model for Parents
An Overview of the GROW Model
There are 4 separate steps involved in the GROW model.
G – The Goal
Questions to ask: What do you want? What do you want to do?
R – Reality Now
Questions to ask: What is the situation now?
O – Options
The options are really important part of this process – children often need stimulation to get their imagination going. The more choices they can come up with the more creative they will/can be. So use your imagination to help them to tap into their creativity. Open questions are great here for opening up their thinking.
Questions to ask: If that is what the situation is, what choices do you have?
W – Will
Questions to ask: What will you decide to do, now that you understand the situation, what are your options and the choices?
So let’s work through the example of choosing what to wear for the day.
Using The Grow Model to Decide What to Wear
G – The Goal
What do you want to wear?
R – Reality Now
What is the weather like now? Is it hot or cold outside?
O – Options
If that is how cold it is outside, what are you going to wear? Will those clothes keep you warm? What are you going to wear on your feet?
W – Will
Okay, so what will you do now that we’ve looked at the options?
And you support your child in making that choice with open questions – if they decide that they don’t need to wear their coat to play in the garden, then off they go and play in the garden. And if they decide later on that it is a bit cold, then you support them to find something to put on to keep them warmer.
No more struggles over putting their coat on when they don’t want to. By being involved in their decisions they will want to put their coat on because they understand that it will keep them warm when it is needed.
In this way, a child or teen begins to find confidence in their choices and the fact that they are taking responsibility, they become so helpful and are happy to share what they have learnt with other people.
Watch this You Tube video to see the GROW model explained by Sir John Whitmore.
