Are you worried about your child not making progress at school, being bullied or mixing with the wrong crowd? Are you finding your communication breaking down, not knowing what to do next and your parenting skills not being as effective as they used to be? Are you experiencing growing tension and frustration in understanding the behaviour of your children or problem teen?
These are common themes for today parents and many adults are experiencing a feeling of powerlessness when they have to cope with difficult relationships inside their family.
Family Coach Alan Wilson has spent more than 10 years in studying the behaviour of children and teens and supporting them through coaching. He recognised that children are extremely sensitive to our emotional state and the first step to change things was to be aware of this emotional level.
You might have noticed your children can sense the mood you’re in before you enter a room. They take responsibility for your emotional state and when they get a feeling of being manipulated or controlled, they kick off in the only way they know how, crying or storming out of the room, in order to get attention to be listened to or valued.
You are the critical person in their life and the perfect person to transform their life. You instinctively know what to do. But when you’re rushing around trying to please everybody all the time you are not in touch with your instincts or gut feelings. Therefore you don’t tend to trust these sensitive connections and can habitually make wrong decisions.
When you feel good about yourself everything feels easier – your children and teens are happier and more content, but when you’re angry or stressed the opposite is true. When your emotions are up in the air or you’re focussing on your problems, you’re very unlikely to have a positive connection.
So if they are influenced by how you feel about yourself and you want things to be different, you need to make some changes. The second step is to rebalance how you feel about yourself, it can be as simple as giving yourself some ‘me’ time. That sounds like a win/win!
Think a bit more about non-verbal communication, have you noticed:
• When you enter a room full of strangers you can feel comfortable or uncomfortable?
• Someone saying, “I was just thinking of that” or you have said it yourself?
• If the phone rings and it’s someone you haven’t seen or heard of for sometime, but you’ve been thinking about them?
• You can sense someone behind you without hearing them?
What is happening here is the same connection that your children sense with you at a deeper level. You are experiencing an energetic connection with other people. When you become aware of it, it’s always there for you to access.
Alan Wilson believes there is huge potential in this positive energetic connection and when you learn how to manage it, you can literally transform the quality of your communication, the quality of your life and your relationships.
So what does it take to change things? It will take some determination and being open to doing something different. If you’re up for that then you need to check out this website. Here you will find a community of like-minded parents working together to change their family relationships.
Also on the website is an e-learning programme based on the very successful Parent Champion programme(1). It’s a revolutionary online tool that will enable you to develop a new approach to your relationships, in the comfort of your home.
You don’t really need to learn difficult techniques but just becoming more aware of the way you use your own energy to connect and communicate with the people around you.
To contact Alan and know more about the programme please email: alan@everyfamilymatters.org.uk
Notes
(1) Alan has developed a unique approach based on a combination of advanced life coaching and emotional literacy techniques, underpinned by Neuroscience. The programme has been co-created with 1,000’s of children, young people, parents and professionals working in homes, schools and Children’s Centres.
The charity Every Family Matters has received a Big Lottery grant of £77,000 for an extended pilot in 2 Children’s Centres over 2 years. The programme has been recognised by Open College Network (the adult education accreditation body) and is equivalent to NVQ levels 2 and 3.
(2) There are numerous and various case studies
(3) The Parent Champion programme is a product of the social enterprise Develop Your Child CIC, which was established in 2002 and is the trading arm of the charity Every Family Matters registered number 1121275.
